Sunday, June 23, 2013

Homage to ride ratings (2013)

Homage to Diablo Scott; Ward is about to go 8-0 in his pass you/ pass me rating.

Homage to California Mike when he became Hawaii Mike for a few years and would send us incomprehensible ride reports with pineapple and coconut ratings
California Mike's explanation of his ride rating (it helps if you are playing bongos and read this like beat poetry)
The rating is based on the coconuts encountered (vague) and to help, with other factors, develop your pineapple rating. For instance you and I only saw two coconuts on our ride up Haleakala but I rated it at the max 4 Pineapples. (The figures coming down Haleakala only count as hallucinatory points since they looked like imperial storm troopers or condoms on wheels hence we couldn't see coconuts so no points in that category)
Why, you ask, can I rate a ride that only has two coconuts as a 4 Pineapple ride? Because it was an epic ride from the warm sunny beach to the frickin cold windy top of a volcano. Throw in a Nene bird siting and a woman in her sari from the India Intelligence Agency that had followed me back from India and somehow knew we be at the top of the mountain you get 4 Pineapples. If you'll excuse me now I'm going to watch the Grateful Dead on you tube.  Peace out man
All seen during a lazy ride on Skyline in the Oakland Hills where the only excitement was yelling at two idiots on "the Bears" who never moved when hearing (nice at first) "on your left"

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